


dysfuncional family.

by BrimiMay39



Category: Batfamily - Fandom, Batman - Fandom
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Humor, M/M, gc ya'll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27368992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrimiMay39/pseuds/BrimiMay39
Summary: texts between the dysfunctional family . uwu .
Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Past Timothy Drake/Stephanie Brown
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	dysfuncional family.

**_Dick(y)_** _has created a group chat;_  
 ** _'The Real Drama Club_** ™️ ** _.'_**  
 ** _Dick(y)_** _has added_ ** _Barbgordon_** _,_ ** _Stephsahoe_** _,_ ** _DamianWayne_** _,_ ** _Toddler_** _,_ ** _Tim-Tam_** _,_ ** _brucewayne_** _,_ ** _cassandra_** _and_ ** _alfredpennyworth_** _._

**_Toddler_ ** _is typing..._

**_Toddler_ ** _: suddenly i feel attacked now_   
_why the fuck am i toddler in this fucking chat_

**_Stephsahoe_ ** _: excuse me bitch but uhm,,you think yours is worse?_   
_LOOK AT MINE_

_**Toddler** : bitch you are _

**_Dick(y)_ ** _: well darn_   
_Calm down or I'll have to tell Bruce to take your phones off._

**_brucewayne_ ** _: No, don't bring me into this. This is your mess so you take their phones off._

**_Dick(y)_ ** _: But you're our dad?? You can drown us??_   
_Oh god._   
_I meant ground us._   
**_(A/N: holy shit I'm cackling rn I meant "ground us" but my phone decided to play on me-)_ **

**_brucewayne:_ ** _jfc I don't deserve this_   
_I wish I wasn't._   
_I wish I could go and_ _drop_ _you all off the orphanage_   
_Except for Cass_

**_DamianWayne_ ** _: you know I'm here_   
_I could always drown Drake and Todd :)_

**_babgordon_ ** _: what the fuck_   
_What the fuck did I just witness?_

**_Stephsahoe_ ** _:lmao id love to see that_

**_Tim-Tam_ ** _: what_

**_Dick(y)_ ** _: great! The whole gang is here!_   
_Now I've got a problem_

**_Babgordon_ ** _: no_

**_Stephsahoe_ ** _: no_

**_Tim-Tam_ ** _: no_

**_Toddler_ ** _: no_

**_DamianWayne_ ** _: no_

**_Dick(y)_ ** _: wow_   
_hurtful_

**_Stephsahoe_ ** _: yes it hurts doesnt it uwu_

**_Brucewayne_ ** _: I'm surprised Cass and Alfred hasn't replied back._

**_Dick(y)_ ** _: oh Alfred put us on mute._

**_Brucewayne_ ** _: what the fuck_   
_Teach me how to mute this phone because I might later regret being part of this group_

**_DamianWayne_ ** _: we shall not teach you how to mute the group chat, father._   
_I'd rather have you suffer with me so you'll know how much it hurts to be with them._

**_Brucewayne_ ** _: trust me, son,, I know how you feel_   
_No wonder why I'm fucking balding._

**_cassandra_ ** _: uhm what_

**_Toddler_ ** _: holy fuck_   
_Is he actually_   
_SEND PICTURES_

**_Stephsahoe_ ** _: LMAO_   
_yo he needs a toupee_   
_OMFG WE SHOULD GET HIM A TOUPEE_

**_Brucewayne_ ** _: fucking hell_   
_do I even get a refund if I return y'all in the orphanage?_   
_This is a disgrace._

**_Dick(y)_ ** _: oh boy here we go_

**_Babgordon_ ** _: you can borrow my dad's toupee_

**_Toddler_ ** _: gordon what the fuck_   
_your dad has a toupee_

**_Tim-Tam_ ** _: LmAo that explains why commissioner gordon was wearing a hat the other day_

**_Dick(y)_ ** _: oh god_

**_Stephsahoe_ ** _: can we go back to the fact that Bruce said 'y'all'?_   
_you bitches didn't even notice_   
_Hes been hanging out with Clark ya dumb fucks_

**_DamianWayne_ ** _: I-_   
_Brown you better shut the hell up or I'll shove a knife down your throat_

**_Stephsahoe_ ** _: id like to see you try hoe_

**_Brucewayne_ ** _: oh god_   
_I need a fucking break_

**_Toddler_ ** _: you cant have a break from us brucie :)_

**_Tim-Tam_ ** _: were everywhere :)_

**_Toddler_ ** _: shut the fuck up you caffeine fucker_

**_Tim-Tam_ ** _: NO YOU SHUT UP BITCH_

**_cassandra_ ** _: as much as i love to say this but_   
_You all need help_   
_Like for real_

**_Babgordon_ ** _: no,,_   
_Where's dick btw_

**_Dick(y)_ ** _: nah I'm here_

**_Babsgordon_ ** _: okay good now hes here_   
_let's discuss about Bruce and Clark's relationship._

**_Stephsahoe_ ** _: oh yes_

**_Brucewayne_ ** _: why_   
_Just why_

_**Dick(y)** : you want to discuss bruce and clark's relationship but not my problem,, like damn,,_

**_Stephsahoe_ ** _: because we've got nothing to gossip on Bruce_

**_Brucewayne_ ** _: oh god_   
_Okay I'm going now_   
_Good fucking bye_

_**Babsgordon** : OKAY BUT JUST LISTEN YOU NEVER USE THE WORD "YA'LL" LIKE OKAY SO YOU'VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH THE ALIEN COWBOY-_

_**Toddler** : you know what they always say, "save a horse, ride a cowboy."_

_**Brucewayne** : for fuck's sake. I can't take this anymore, good bye._

_// **Brucewayne** has left the conversation. //_

_**Babsgordon** : Dick_

_**Dick(y) :** got it-_

_// **Dick(y)** has added **Brucewayne.** //_

_**Brucewayne** ; damn you all_

_**Brucewayne** : And look, Clark is a good guy. He's really sweet and kind so-_

_**Tim-tam** : I-_

_**Dick(y):** I mean-_

_**Dick(y):** It's true tho. He's just a shy guy_

_**Brucewayne** : exactly._

_**cassandra:** what did i miss_

_**Tim-Tam** : scroll up_

_**cassandra** : nevermind_

_**Babsgordon** : . . . anywho. Bruce, why don't you invite him for a dinner someday? That'll be a good idea._

_**DamianWayne** : . . ._

**Toddler** : HAH damian is not liking that idea at all lmao

**Brucewayne** : Me neither.


End file.
